Kevin Kelly's weekly commentary on the comings and goings of the Hazzard County Racing Association and the NASCAR season. Readers be warned! COMMISH.COM publishes this column while running under the caution flag...

Yeah I know I skipped a week…so what? 2 short track races, 2 very long weeks for me at work equals 1 very short column! I'm writing this at midnight of the eve of my next impending debacle, so what Kasey Kahne won today's Busch Series race? You don't really think he will even finish tomorrows, do you? Oh and before we go any further, a word to Ken….blow me! Ok now I feel a little better…..

So with back to back short track races the past 2 weeks, I found myself thinking of the old Happy Days episodes with Fonzie racing in those Demolition Derbies, I mean did the Malachi Brothers unretire recently? There were cars bouncing off each other like a ball in a pinball machine! And I swear I spotted Pinky Tuscadero in Jimmie Johnson's pit area last week….which reminds me, that would be the same Jimmie Johnson that Chuck didn't start, thus costing him a victory! Way togo chuckie-poo! Not to mention that Jeff Gordon sealed Chucks loss with the victory, kind of ironic since Chuck was outbid for Gordo by the man who beat him 2x this year, Russ. Ahhh fate is a funny thing, eh?

And check this out, a womens lingerie company is sponsoring Shawna Robinsons in the Bush (oops Busch) series this year….sweet! So instead of wearing that racing suit, Shawna will be donning a sexy 2 piece corset, complete with garter, straps , backseam stockings, thongs and oh yes, a bra adorned with her sponsors logos. Here's to hoping she gets to victory lane and decides to rip of her bra in celebration! Got Milk? Well, actually I don't, but I'll take some from the tap, please.

Touching on a theme I already mentioned in a previous car, has anyone seen Jeff Green's co-sponsor? He drives the Cheerio's car, but the other sponsor, hehe…is just too funny…Pillsbury Bake Off! LMAO, maybe they should get Rachel Ray to drive that car! And a rookie this year, Eric McClure is driving the "DeHooker" car….I'll just leave well enough alone with that one….And finally we have poor Morgan Shepherd…still driving the "Victory in Jesus" car, still running around with Sandals trying to get to the finish line, and what happens to him? His crew chief (the POPE) goes and dies on him! Somehow I don't feel the angels are watching his back…I think its only a matter of time before his new sponsor is "The Satanic Verses".

Well I gotta run, got a league to bowl in at 9am tomorrow, and a tournament to bowl in at 1pm with JL, Neil, Mike and Chris. I know I'm racing JL this week, as for the rest of you, frankly I don't give a damn who's playing who, stop being lazy shits and go look it up yourself!

Sniper…OUT!

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